Saturday, February 24, 2007

Long Island Steakhouses

Before I begin, a couple of things:

First, I am sorry for the lack of posts this week. I've been busy. No greater excuse than that.

Second, after much time and consideration I realized that my personal life is very boring. I reviewed the previous blog posts and pretty much reached the conclusion that posts about what is going on in the world is good; posts about what is going on in my life is bad.

On Wednesday night, in a spur of the moment type of thing, I called up my Grandfather and asked him to have dinner in Long Island. I'm down on Long Island for a variety of reasons: the Jewish American Princess who think they are better looking than they actually are (Yo, if your 5-3 and 140 pounds--I'm sorry but you really ain't so fine); the lack of scenery (expensive, overpriced malls don't count) and the lack of quality of restaurants. Sure, on Northern Blvd they have a lot of famous steakhouses (to just quickly name three: Mortons, Peter Lugers and Bryant and Cooper). Yet, with the exception of Luger's, they are all over priced; stuffy and filled with people who are old, fat and boring. It sucks the life out of you. I know it sounds superficial but eating where the people are young and good looking makes a different in the quality of the meal.

For the second time in the last three months, I went to Bryant & Cooper in Rosyln. My initial thought when reviewing this restaurant was that their porterhouse for two that was $80 was overpriced. Not in terms of the quantity (which essentially enabled me and my parents to have leftovers for dinner the following night) but rather, with respect to quality. For $40 a head; the porterhouse really needs to be spectacular. Do not get me wrong: It was good. Probably closer to very good than good. But for that type of $$$--it really needs to blow me off my feet.

Overall, I thought Bryant and Cooper was overpriced and had to many mistakes to validate its prices. I'm pretty much sure all their side dishes (spinach, potatoes; tomato and onions) were at a minimum as expensive as Peter Lugers. Generally speaking, I don't think its fair to compare steakhouses to Lugers (it is sort of like comparing current basketball players to Michael Jordan). However, if you are going to charge more than Lugers--such an act warrants comparison.

Other blunders at Bryant: the waiter didn't do a good job understanding my request for home fries and as a result I ended up with a side full of potatoes that weren't really home fries but rather, just fairly well done potatoes with some crispy onions. We asked for creamed spinach and they gave us regular spinach. When we arrived at the restaurant; they tried to sit us directly in front of the kitchen/bus boy area even though the restaurant was essentially empty. I kept my cool when they attempted to do so but my Grandfather was rightfully annoyed.

While it was not a bad restaurant by any means, it was not worth $144 between two people before tip.

(In the interest of full disclosure, my grandfather and I ordered the following):


One glass of red Merlot Whine (in which was excellent as well as a generous portion)
one apple martini;

Chopped tomato and onions

Porterhouse for two
Home fries (sort of)
Sauteed Spinach

Two cups of coffee
No Desert

But not all my meals in Long Island left me so distraught: on Friday I went to Peter Lugers for lunch. I had the following: Peter Luger Burger; side of Luger French Fries; a nice dark Beck's Beer (the fact that they put in a cold beer glass is HUGE) and of course--a slice of Canadian Bacon to start. I was in heaven. The total bill: $19.75. It was such a good price I almost felt guilty leaving the waiter a bad tip.

An associate in my father's office said the Luger's creamed spinach is what makes them so special. At this point, it is really just a matter of one's own taste but I would have to disagree. I can go to Peter Luger's and survive without getting the creamed spinach. But to not have the Canadian Bacon would have me leaving feeling empty.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

$115 Rice Pudding

Just do a quick follow up on the whole New York City giving out free condoms thing. The following day after NYC gave them out; I went up to one of the metro booth workers and asked her if there were any more NYC subway condoms available. She took one look at me said, "With your looks, I don't think you need to worry about needing any condoms. We are only giving them out to people who would actually use them."

Yesterday late afternoon I drove into the city to do the following: Clean up my cubicle, buy a printer; learn how to use my I-Pod and download my friend's song from their computer. I did not intend to receive a $115 dollar ticket but I managed to do just that. How could I make such a blunder: I blame society.

After I cleaned up my cubicle and was unable to download the I-Pod music (she had a Mac; I have a windows--so no dice!) I walked 15 blocks in the cold weather with the sidewalks full of slush to a diner that has terrific rice pudding. The rice pudding was a little less than $5; thus the title to this unbelievable weak blog post. Actually, my friend told me that there is a terrific Rice Pudding Shop in SoHo (that is in Manhattan). Here is the link.

Sorry for having nothing exciting to report; it has been a slow weekend. So sue me.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Getting Ready for a Nap

I'm getting ready for a nap...I'll post more later today.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hey Baby, wanna take a ride on my 4 or 5 train?

This morning, New York City was giving away free condoms on the subway. The condom wrappers (I have not seen the actual condoms) are actually pretty cool. As a lover of free samples and somebody who took the 6 train from Grand Central to 32nd street during rush hour this morning, I feel pretty shafted that I didn't get any free condoms. Condoms don't grow on trees and they aren't cheap--the condom manufacturers really have us men by the you know what when it comes to this product.

Anyway, the condom promoters were told not to give any of the free condoms out to minors. This makes a great deal of sense, as everybody knows that New York City adolescents are very uncomfortable engaging in sexual intercourse until they turn 18. Man, oh man, I just wish I grew up in the city. If I did, then maybe it wouldn't have taken me until my Jr. year of college to learn how to take off a girl's bra.

I met a person who doesn't like the show Seinfeld

So I finally went on a date with the woman from the 'Lock and Key' party mentioned in my previous post. It was just OK. She had some strengths and weakness:


1. She has PCF (positive cash flow)
2. She has a zaftig figure
3. She is tall (5-7).
4. She has a decent, albeit, not great sense of humor.
5. Her face is easy on the eyes


1. Originally hails from New Jersey
2. Doesn't like Seinfield

I am willing to deal with somebody being from New Jersey because I don't want to act in a prejudicial manner. It is not physically impossible for a good human being to hail from New Jersey-- even though it hasn't happened yet.

Even though I love Seinfield like pretty much everybody else, I don't want to judge somebody in a negative fashion simply for not liking a show that I like. To each their own.

But now, some even more serious issues:

3. Doesn't vote
4. Doesn't belong/go to the gym

3 and 4 are pretty ridiculous. Not voting? Ever? She claimed she didn't know an adequate amount of information to vote--'under qualified'--was how she put it. I tried to explain to her that there were even less 'qualified' people than her that votes and her defense was, "Well, do you really think your vote makes a difference?" Good grief.

But of course, the last fault is simply to much to overcome to have the privilege of going out with me again. No gym membership? She doesn't work out? That's horrible. And she is young now. What is gonna happen when she gets older when all that non-working out catches up to her? Hello cellulite!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Really Attractive People You Will Never Have Sex With (Most Likely)

My father recently gave me a sports article that discussed why February is the worst sports month of the year. No more pro football (sorry, the pro bowl doesn't count), we are still a month away from College Basketball's March Madness and the NBA is just at the All Star-Break. There isn't even any real tennis as the anti-Semitic open, err, excuse me--the French Open isn't until June. In fact, Roger Federer has taken the next six weeks off. As far as I am concerned, no Federer= no tennis.

But alas, deprived sports fan, February does have one outstanding 'sporting event' that, at least for a sold half an hour, is the Superbowl and March Madness all wrapped into one: The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

As great as the Swimsuit Issue is, every year there are a couple of complaints from feminists or ugly people. These complaints generally fall into two categories:

1) The 'swimsuits' the girls are wearing are so meager and inappropriate that nobody would actually wear them at the beach.
2) It puts an unfair amount of pressure on normal women to unrealistically look like 'supermodels'.

In re to the first complaint: Who freakin' cares!
In re to the second complaint: See answer to first complaint.

From Russia With Love

Here is ATP tennis pro Dmitry Tursunov's blog. Tursunov is a better blogger than he is tennis player--which is saying something as he is the 21st ranked tennis player in the world.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

How to get my foot in the door

There is a girl--no excuse me to all you feminists out there--a woman who I am interested in that works in my building. She is a fact checker for a magazine. I see her, on average, about twice a month (and I think that is being generous). Despite the fact that she is 5-5 at best, I find myself attracted to her. I have absolutely no idea how to 'make a move'. I wish I was in the magazine business and I could tell her we are short handed and we need an extra fact checker. Do attorney's need fact checkers?

My sister used to be a fact checker and she told me she hated it. I told that to the fact checker and she told me she loved fact checking because she was fact checking about subjects she liked. What a good sport. Even if it was fact checking stats on the Knicks, fantastic steakhouses or helping a journalist complile a book about tall, attractive redheads, I think I would get bored pretty quick. In fact, I'm bored just writing this blog.

Anybody have suggestions on how to woo the fact checker? I'm pretty much open to any suggestions that don't risk me getting thrown out of the building. (i.e, telling her that I am having a fact checking party in my pants this Friday and that she's invited).

From Syracuse to Las Vegas

Good article about the Big O (Oscar Robertson) and how much the NBA has changed in the last 45 years.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Not that there is anything wrong with it

Before I begin, I would like to thank my sister for posting a picture of me on her blog. If my sister's intent was to find the gayest picture possible of me at the age of eight years old, she managed. God bless her.

And while we are on the subject of homosexuality; last week former NBA scrub John Amaechi admitted to being gay and dating weight loss guru Richard Simmons. OK--I made the last part up. But the first part is true. There were some interesting responses around the league.

Current NBA scrub Steven Hunter worried about Amaechi leading a double life like those guys he sees on T.V., while current NBA owner/frat boy Mark Cuban thought the player would receive a large amount of endorsements. I have a lot of trouble understanding Cuban's thought process in light of the fact that the only big time professional athlete to admit she was gay, Martina Navratilova, essentially did not receive any endorsements due to the fact that she liked women (well, that and the fact that she, well, sort of looks like a man). In fact, the only endorsement I can think of that Navatrovia ever got was to promote a gay cruise company.

Which makes me angry as my thoughts immediately turn to one of the all time great comedies that was robbed of an Oscar nomination for best picture by those intellectual elitest snobs in Hollywood.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

My First Post!

On Friday night I went to a 'lock and key' party in the Village at Madame X (which isn't nearly as scandalous as the name suggests. Its just a bar). Its sort of like a speed dating event--the idea behind the gathering is that the females are given a key and the males are given locks and the women are supposed to go around and try to unlock the man's lock and then both genders are given a ticket to compete in the raffle at the end of the evening. If you think it sounds lame, you are correct. (And just for the record, it was my friend's idea to go to this, not mine).

The first woman who matched up with me was a stark raving wack-job who was from New Jersey (redundant, I know). She had a very large tattoo on her back (which, in case you were wondering, it is not a big turn on for me). When we won she went absolutely bonkers, talking very excited about the possibility of winning a prize at the raffle at the end of the event. I can completely understand her excitement, as the prize consisted of a box of nerds.

I actually ended up hitting it off with the best looking girl at the event, which probably about as impressive as being the best player on the Knicks.